Information Killed My Girlfriend With a Chainsaw

The information deluge has gotten so out of control that there’s really nothing left to say.  Any piece of information, any tidbit of data (no matter how wise or sagacious it may be) is swept away as quick as it came.  Every face, every fashion, every way to do the do gets its 15 seconds of fame and is then ushered back into the oblivion from whence it came.

Information no longer carries a specific meaning.  The rapidity at which it flows renders all messages moot.  When 70 people are massacred in Norway, it’s the top story for maybe a week.  7 days later, some new Horror of the Century gets its brief moment in the sun.

At a physical level, the sheer size and amount of information generated on any given day has left an imprint over all of life.  The number of messages shuttling through the atmosphere at any moment is truly dizzying.  No longer is there true silence.  Man has created his own mystical sound, his own synthetic version of the Hindu Aum.  And like Aum, it never shuts up.

But it’s not really Aum at all.  It’s more like the scream of the approaching demon as it nears the cabin in Evil Dead 2.  In the end, it will possess our hands and force us to cut them off.  We will make do with chainsaws on arm-stumps in the world where hyper-technology and its screaming pulse “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!…..” breaks into our homes, possesses our girlfriends, makes us chop off their heads and lock them in vices, start up our chainsaws with our teeth and scream, “You’re goin’ down!”.

Welcome to the world of tomorrow.  Silence has been gone for centuries.  The hum of wires, wireless devices and more recent silent technologies creates an ungodly buzz that only your subconscious can hear. Too much information has driven man insane.  Its sheer amount has destroyed all meaning, and its sheer size has created a world of invisible waves blasting in, through, and out of every part of your body at all moments of your life.  If you’re a guy, it knots up your vas deferens like a shoelace.  Females will experience Sahara-like dryness of the vaginal cavern.  Other mammals can expect to shit out their intestines.


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