Archive for August, 2011

Information Killed My Girlfriend With a Chainsaw

Posted in Uncategorized on August 22, 2011 by travisbicklesmohawk

The information deluge has gotten so out of control that there’s really nothing left to say.  Any piece of information, any tidbit of data (no matter how wise or sagacious it may be) is swept away as quick as it came.  Every face, every fashion, every way to do the do gets its 15 seconds of fame and is then ushered back into the oblivion from whence it came.

Information no longer carries a specific meaning.  The rapidity at which it flows renders all messages moot.  When 70 people are massacred in Norway, it’s the top story for maybe a week.  7 days later, some new Horror of the Century gets its brief moment in the sun.

At a physical level, the sheer size and amount of information generated on any given day has left an imprint over all of life.  The number of messages shuttling through the atmosphere at any moment is truly dizzying.  No longer is there true silence.  Man has created his own mystical sound, his own synthetic version of the Hindu Aum.  And like Aum, it never shuts up.

But it’s not really Aum at all.  It’s more like the scream of the approaching demon as it nears the cabin in Evil Dead 2.  In the end, it will possess our hands and force us to cut them off.  We will make do with chainsaws on arm-stumps in the world where hyper-technology and its screaming pulse “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!…..” breaks into our homes, possesses our girlfriends, makes us chop off their heads and lock them in vices, start up our chainsaws with our teeth and scream, “You’re goin’ down!”.

Welcome to the world of tomorrow.  Silence has been gone for centuries.  The hum of wires, wireless devices and more recent silent technologies creates an ungodly buzz that only your subconscious can hear. Too much information has driven man insane.  Its sheer amount has destroyed all meaning, and its sheer size has created a world of invisible waves blasting in, through, and out of every part of your body at all moments of your life.  If you’re a guy, it knots up your vas deferens like a shoelace.  Females will experience Sahara-like dryness of the vaginal cavern.  Other mammals can expect to shit out their intestines.


All Aliens Are Robots

Posted in Uncategorized on August 14, 2011 by travisbicklesmohawk

It’s becoming pretty clear that homo sapien sapien is going to be the last stage of organic human evolution.  Biology’s glacial pace will no longer have the time in needs to makes evolutionary changes; humans and their technology will always beat it to the punch.  By about 100,000 years.

For example, before humans naturally evolve lungs more powerful and resistant to modern toxins, technology will have solved the issue synthetically 1000 times over.  You’ll be watching slickly edited ads for the Eager Breather Superlung Implant well before evolution ever gets around to considering the issue.  And it will be like that for everything.  You’ll have microchip implants allowing you to see in infrared, bionic limbs for super-strength, and mini-machines cruising your colon shooting poo chunks with lasers.  There’s no way evolution will be able to compete.

The next stage of evolution is non-organic.  Humans will create themselves as a hybrid of machine and living organism.  And the balance between those two poles will continually be sliding in favor of machine.  Sooner or later, people will be basically just robots.

But what you got to consider is that all the while as this personal enhancement technology is going on, so too are the other discoveries in all the other fields of research.  By the time people are robotic, they are also off-earth, using their mega-long life spans to sit on ships plunging into the vast blackness of space.

And it seems to me that this would happen to any mortal, organic form that had brain stem enough to crawl out of the wild and make something of itself.  Sooner or later, as its technology evolved, it would begin to use what it knew to make itself impervious to the things that kill it.

Organic matter is in a flux that always ends up decaying away.  It’s fragile and easily subject to the other powers of organic nature. Synthetic technology, on the other hand, is durable, resistant to many stressors that would crush an organic life form, and can last an indefinite period of time.  So by the time this other creature, this alien, was able to make a spaceship and plunge into the blackest regions of space, it too would have used its own discoveries to turn itself synthetic.

We must surmise that all aliens would be robotic.  Which is funny, because many of the science fiction stories see them as slimy and reptilian.  The imagery is a hyper-advanced version of an earthen creature pretty low on the evolutionary scale.  E.T, Predator, Independence Day, V….they’re always so juicy.

Which is bullshit.  No way aliens are juicy.  No moistness emits from them because all their orifices were sealed up generations ago.  Aliens would be only slightly less machine than the spaceships they flew around in.